The Semi-Informed Test Track 2.0 Assessment

As I write this the new Test Track at EPCOT is in soft openings, and lots of fans and professional blogger types have seen it. I would love to give you a firsthand account of the newly-refurbished pavilion, but unfortunately that’s going to have to wait until the next time I make it to Disney World (which at this point looks like it’ll be no earlier than the first half of 2014)

Fortunately for people like me, there’s always the Internet, and there are quite a few videos out there that give a nice overview of the entire Test Track 2.0 experience. Here’s one of them:

Obviously a video is no substitute for being there, so what I have to offer here is really just a semi-informed opinion. I’m sure it’ll evolve after I’ve actually visited the pavilion a few times.

If you’ve ever read this blog before then you know that I’m a hardcore original EPCOT Center man. If people ask me when the best time to visit EPCOT is, I tell them 1989. I absolutely deplore how the park has been cheapened and dumbed-down over the past 18 years. In fact, a big reason why I haven’t written a lot about EPCOT lately is because I haven’t really felt like going there. It had honestly gotten to the point where the park’s offerings weren’t worth the price of admission to me.

Does the new and improved Test Track erase all my misgivings about the horrible way Orlando’s executive leadership runs the place? Not at all. But for the first time since the Spaceship Earth rehab in 2007, there’s actually something new at EPCOT that I want to see.

Now, I’ve heard folks online claim that Test Track’s redo, while certainly a step in the right direction, is not quite worthy of EPCOT Center. Some of them even complain about the use of the old World of Motion logo here and there, saying that it’s just there to mollify the fanboys and make them overlook any problems the pavilion may have. Now, those folks are certainly entitled to their opinions, but I believe that the new Test Track is pretty much exactly what a 21st century EPCOT Center pavilion would look like if the Florida property had enjoyed the benefit of competent executive leadership these past twenty years.

Believe me, no one loved the old EPCOT Center more than me. But the fact is that all the stuff I loved, the Omnimover rides, the futurism, and the hopeful and thought-provoking shows and attractions, simply does not play well with the average parkgoer. The sad truth is that we do not live in a world where most people are eager to have their thoughts provoked and their horizons expanded. We live in a world with Kardashians in it. People who go to Disney World want to go on rides that feature licensed Disney characters, thrills, or dumb humor. And then they want to stand in line to meet Mickey Mouse.

What the people responsible for Test Track 2.0 look to have done is give us something that will simultaneously appeal to the small number of EPCOT Center-loving futurists like me and the dumbed-down, Kardashian-watching thrill-seekers that comprise the majority of your average theme park audience. It’s a compromise they would have had to make even in a perfect world where the purpose of EPCOT Center was never forgotten.

Yes, there are little issues here and there. The exterior loop stands out even more as a horrible design choice now. But the cost of enclosing it would likely have pushed the refurbishment’s price tag above what GM was willing to pay, and we all know that the Disney’s executives were far too busy dumping truckloads of money down the NextGen Black Hole to pay for it themselves. And while I hope that GM’s sponsorship money will guarantee a higher standard of maintenance than we see just about everywhere else on property, most of the people I know do not seem to be optimistic about that. They envision that the pavilion will be a wasteland of dead touchscreens and broken effects in a few months. But there’s no use complaining about that unless it happens, right?

Final sum-up, at least for now: the new Test Track looks good. It’s a real EPCOT Center attraction. Or the closest thing to it that modern audiences will tolerate. And it even managed to give us that TRON aesthetic I’ve been yearning to see in Future World since I first saw TRON:Legacy.

All is not well in EPCOT yet. But it’s better than it once was.

Oh, to be at EPCOT now that Spring is here . . .

The EPCOT Flower and Garden Festival is in full swing, so my wife and I headed down there last weekend. I thought I’d share some pictures I took while we were there, and for your enjoyment, you can click on each picture to see a larger version.

For an EPCOT Center geek like me the best thing about these special events is that the former Wonders of Life pavilion is open. The attractions are long gone, even their signage has been removed, but you can still see small glimpses of the way the pavilion used to be.

One of the best things that’s happened at EPCOT in the last year or so has been the restoration of the Universe of Energy pavilion to it’s original color scheme. Sadly, it still houses a show only 90’s Kid could love, but at least the pastel rainbow is no more.

Now for some actual Flower and Garden-related stuff. The area behind Innoventions West has been given a nice flower arrangement that features dolphins, stars, and a giant Mickey head.

I took those pictures from the bridge that links the Innoventions area to the Odyssey pavilion, known to today’s EPCOT visitors as a good place to go to the bathroom. Naturally, I couldn’t resist snapping a few pictures of this relic of EPCOT Center.

The bridge between Innoventions and the Odyssey is also a good place to get a picture of Test Track that allows you to imagine you’re really looking at World of Motion, because of the way that the trees almost obscure the ride track that wraps around the building.

As we walked around the World Showcase, we stopped between France and the UK to snap a picture across the lagoon. You can see the Characters in Flight balloon from Downtown Disney peeking over the treetops.

Next, my wife wanted to get some pictures of the fountains in front of the Imagination pavilion’s Magic Eye Theater. Other than the iconic glass pyramids, I believe that the fountains are the only feature of the Imagination pavilion that hasn’t been completely ruined by vicious cost-cutting and the desire to promote a lackluster film franchise nobody remembers or cares about. Of course, now that I’ve said that Team Disney Orlando will probably raze the fountains and replace them with a Dr. Nigel Channing statue.

 

My wife insisted that I sit in front of one of the jumping fountains so she could get a picture of the water jumping over my head, resulting in the only picture of me that I will ever post here. I’m sorry you have to see this.

Next, we relaxed on the Living With The Land boat ride (after a 20 minute wait; the park was very crowded that day!) and my wife took pictures of various Mickey-shaped things along the way.

By this point in the day, we were sunburnt and fatigued, so we decided to call it a day. I paused in Innoventions plaza to take this picture:

I included this picture for two reasons:

1. To illustrate how extremely crowded EPCOT was that day
2. So I could say “Mr Iger, TEAR DOWN THESE TARPS!”

My wife ducked into Mouse Gear to shop a little before we left, and I got this picture of the corpse of Dreamfinder’s Dreammobile.

 

As we headed for the exit, I pasued one last time to take this image of the giraffe topiary outside Project Tomorrow.

There were many, many other Disney character topiaries scattered throughout Future World and the World Showcase, but it was impossible to get a good shot of them because because of how crowded it was. However, I’m sure that there are some very nice pictures of them elsewhere on the Internet, taken by photographers much more capable than myself.

I hope you enjoyed this little pictorial. Thanks for reading!

The Lean Machine: A TransCenter Artifact

If you ever got to spend a few minutes in the TransCenter, World of Motion's post-show area, chances are you at least caught a glimpse of the Lean Machine, a concept car developed by Frank Winchell of GM. I saw it when I visited EPCOT Center with my grandfather in 1989. He was general manager of a GM dealership at the time, so naturally we spent a while in the TransCenter looking at the displays. Near the Lean Machine prototypes, a video was playing of the vehicle in action, leaning into turns on a winding mountain road just like a motorcycle. At the time, it seemed like a foregone conclusion that, when it was time for me to go car shopping in just six short years, I'd be able to walk into my grandfather's dealership and make a deal for my very own Lean Machine.

Of course, things didn't exactly work out that way. Until gas prices spiked at over $4 a gallon last summer, there didn't seem to be a market for such a tiny vehicle, even if it did give you 200 mpg. Although fuel prices have been under $3 for the better part of a year, fuel economy remains a concern for new car buyers. So why is the Lean Machine still in mothballs? Primarily because it really isn't a car. If anything, it's an enclosed recumbent three-wheeled motorcycle. Visit any automobile dealership, and you'll see five basic type of vehicles: sedans, sports cars, SUVs, pickup trucks, and vans. A tiny, one-person transportation pod does not fit neatly into any of those categories.

It would be a great idea for GM to sell or license the Lean Machine to a company like Honda or Mitsubishi that also makes motorcycles. That way, at least they'd make some money off the thing. And while car shoppers are not likely to opt for a small, one-person vehicle with little to no cargo space, the Lean Machine would be a great option for someone who really wants the low cost and fuel efficiency of a motorcycle or scooter, but would like the protection from the elements that an enclosed design provides. I live in a college town, and lots of students already use scooters to get around campus and around town. How many more would go for something like a Lean Machine with air conditioning? And how well would the Lean Machine do in emerging Asian markets like China and India, where consumers need something small and inexpensive to drive? Finally, electric car technology has come a long way since the Lean Machine was first conceived. Would it be feasible to make a fully electric Lean Machine?

Clearly, selling or licensing the Lean Machine to a company who can market it to motorcycle/scooter buyers is an intelligent thing to do, which is why I'm certain that the company that gave us the Pontiac Aztek will never do it. But maybe, when gas prices go up to five or six dollars a gallon, as they inevitably will sometime in the next decade, the ensuing tidal wave of demand for fuel efficient vehicles will force GM's hand, and we'll see the Lean Machine in some form.

For more information on the Lean Machine, including pictures of its display area in the World of Motion and scans of the informational brochure that was distributed there, check out these websites:

Tilting Three-Wheelers: GM Lean Machine
The New Cafe (Racer) Society: Vintage 1980: the GM Lean Machine
Lean Machines: Preliminary Investigations- A UC-Berkley study on the feasiblity of the Lean Machine in California.

Feasible EPCOT Improvements- #6

Do Something to Make Test Track Relevant


Last I heard, Test Track was still a fairly popular ride. I don't have any data to back this up, but judging by the wait times when I was in EPCOT last, I'll bet it's the second most popular attraction in Future World behind Soarin'. This is unfortunate, because Disney will usually rehab an EPCOT pavilion only after several years of sustained unpopularity, and sometimes not even then. And boy, does Test Track need a rehab. Truth be told, the Transportation pavilion has needed a rethink since the day it opened, we just needed a couple decades to figure it out.

I've written before about why it was a bad idea for EPCOT's transportation pavilion to be sponsored by an automobile company, especially one as clueless and out-of-it as GM. And I've speculated on what the future might hold for the pavilion once Test Track lapses into unpopularity (or Disney decides that it costs too much to maintain). For now, however, Test Track is a popular ride that's not going anywhere. If GM ends their almost thirty-year sponsorship of the pavilion, though, it'll need a new post-show. And that would be an excellent place to plug the future of transportation beyond automobiles. What about a row of simple simulators that allow visitors to experience future modes of transportation: take a ride on a pod car network in a big city, a mag-lev bullet train across the countryside, maybe even a space elevator? A future where everyone drives automobiles to get everywhere is neither practical nor desirable, and this would be a good way to educate people on some of the alternatives.

Of course, Test Track isn't the only attraction in Future World that's missing its chance at relevance. Next I'll talk a little about one of EPCOT's more recent additions.

How educational was EPCOT?

It's widely believed that the EPCOT Center of the 1980s and early 90s was a more educational place than the Epcot of today. But was it really? Let's compare the pavilions of EPCOT Center with today's lowercase Epcot and see. Of course, it should be noted that what follows is purely my own opinion.

Spaceship Earth: To be fair, I haven't had the chance to ride Spaceship Earth since the Siemens rehab. However, I've watched a little ride video, and I've listened to the entire audio track on Subsonic Radio a few times. In my opinion, the new ride has a lighter tone and is less scholarly than the communications-themed experience that preceded it. Is it actually less educational? It's a tough call. It seems to me, though, that the old ride contained more historical facts than the new one.

Universe of Energy: Among those of us who remember the first version of this pavilion, there's the widespread perception that Disney dumped the respectable, serious original show in favor of a lighthearted and airheaded Ellen Degeneres vehicle that's too busy dropping 1990s pop culture references to convey any information. So I went back and watched some videos of the original show so I could compare them. And honestly, they both convey pretty much the same information, although the original show goes into a lot more detail about oil exploration. Whether you prefer the scholarly and serious presentation of the original show, or the 1990s flavor of the current incarnation is a matter of personal preference.

Wonders of Life: This pavilion used to be an interesting EPCOT destination featuring shows and exhibits about health and the human body. Now it's an empty shell.

Horizons/Mission:Space: Anyone who reads this blog knows how I feel about Horizons. It was absolutely my favorite theme park attraction of all time. If I had the power of Q, I would rebuild Horizons, convert the second-floor VIP lounge into an apartment, and live there. Nevertheless, Mission:Space is more educational. Why? Well, even though it's nowhere near the triumph of Disney Imagineering that Horizons was, and in fact it makes people sick, it realistically demonstrates why not everyone is cut out to be an astronaut. Horizons was more fun. Mission:Space is more educational. I don't like it, but it's the truth.

World of Motion/Test Track: Although it is fondly remembered, no one would accuse World of Motion of historical accuracy. How many kids got off that ride believing that the wheel was introduced to mankind after an Egyptian Pharaoh picked the round model over square and triangular versions? To be fair, though, the post-show area had some educational value. Test Track has a narrower focus, simulating an automobile testing ground instead of telling the story of human transportation, but it does try to educate riders about the testing process that new car models are put through before they go to market. I wish it explained why GM's cars are so unreliable compared to Honda and Toyota if they really go through all these tests, but I guess that story doesn't have as much entertainment value as the testing process itself. Comparing the old and new rides is a bit of an apples-and-oranges proposition, but I'd have to give the nod to Test Track here.

Journey Into Imagination/Journey Into YOUR Imagination with Figment and Eric Idle: The Imagination pavilion was never meant to be educational in the slightest. It was simply supposed to be a fun, whimisical trip that reminded visitors of the potential of their own imaginations. I've written at length on this before, of course, but in brief the old ride was charming, the newest one is a sad joke, but neither had any educational value (unless you count the present-day post-show area that "educates" you about some of Kodak's more banal services.) The Captain EO movie might have been educational had it been retitled "People You Should Never Allow Near Your Children".

The Land: Although the boat ride portion of the pavilion has changed very little since the pavilion opened, the change from a live guide to a recorded narration track during the greenhouse sequence was an improvement, as everyone now gets the same information. The biggest change at The Land, of course, was the replacement of the Kitchen Kabaret/Food Rocks show with Soarin'. Although Soarin' is definitely the superior experience, it's one of the biggest examples of the "generic Disney-Park-ification" of EPCOT. Soarin' makes The Land one of EPCOT's most popular destinations, but the place was more educational without it.

The Living Seas/The Seas With Nemo and Friends: I've written about the Seas pavilion before. As I said then, my favorite version of the pavilion is WED's amazing original concept that United Technologies was too stingy to fund. The attraction that opened in 1986 was perfectly serviceable, however, and it did a good job educating us on the amazing variety of living things in our oceans. Unfortunately, people today aren't wowed as easily as they were in 1986, when the line to get into The Living Seas stretched almost to the monorail track. For better or for worse, Disney decided it was the ocean's fault. Since actual sea life wasn't sufficiently entertaining, the whole place got a Pixar makeover, complete with digital characters from Finding Nemo that seem to float inside the aquarium (which is still the world's second-largest man-made underwater environment.) I haven't had the chance to examine all the exhibits inside the refurbished Seabase, but from what I can tell the Seas pavilion isn't as much about turning guests' on to the wonders to be found beneath the ocean as it is about entertaining preschoolers.

CommuniCore/Innoventions: The old CommuniCore had more exhibits that tied into Future World pavilions, but it also had lots of cheesy gimmicks (anyone remember the Astuter Computer Revue?) Innoventions plays more like a sales pitch for different corporate sponsors, but such things have a long history at Disney. Still, Innoventions does convey actual information, even if it's not very entertaining. Overall, CommuniCore wins out. It had a teachers' resource center, and there was just more of it. CommuniCore took up two buildings; Innoventions only takes up one.

So, was the old EPCOT Center really more educational than today's Epcot? Yes, but not as much as you might think. The main difference was that it cared about educating visitors in a way that today's Epcot really doesn't.

The Future of Test Track

The recent drop in GM's fortunes has caused many folks to speculate about the future of the EPCOT pavilion that it's sponsored since opening day in 1982. One thing's for certain, GM's sponsorship will almost certainly end soon. What effect will that have on the World of Motion pavilion? In the short term, probably none. Test Track is a popular ride. I imagine Disney will have to pull the GM-specific stuff out of the building, with the worst-case scenario seeing a complete emptying of the post-show area, like Spaceship Earth during its sponsor-less period.

Eventually, though, guests will tire of Test Track just as they tired of World of Motion, and Disney will need to rehab the pavilion again. What might this pavilion's next incarnation look like? I'm not a Disney insider, so if the Imagineers have any ideas about this I certainly wouldn't know. Personally, though, I'd like to see the pavilion's next attraction focus on the future of transportation. What about an attraction that allows guests to experience some futuristic transportation concepts like a pod-car system in an urban environment, a mag-lev bullet train, and a space elevator? Several types of simulators would need to be utilized to realistically simulate these different transportation experiences, of course. Maybe the whole thing could be connected by a ride system that moves guests between different simulators, so they wouldn't have to actually get up and walk several times during the same "ride"? I'm just throwing out ideas here, I'm really don't know how feasable they'd be from an engineering standpoint. Disney Imagineers, however, have a history of accomplishing the improbable.

I can think of several benefits of a pavilion featuring the whole range of future transportation. For one thing, no one will be able to accuse it of being a "one trick pony". The variety of experiences offered will encourage many repeat visits. It could also educate guests about transportation alternatives that are greener and more sustainable than what we have now, and thus create consumer demand for them. And there's no danger of such an attraction becoming dated too quickly, if it's done right. After all, the technology to build a space elevator doesn't even exist yet. Even when it does, space elevators won't exactly be a ubiquitous as cars or airliners; they'll seem "futuristic" for many years to come. And it'll be a long time, if ever, before a mag-lev train system exists on a large scale in the United States, to say nothing of pod-car networks in the big cities.

Of course, I'm not in the theme park business. I'm just a guy with an opinion. I'd love to hear yours.

On the World of Motion

I'm going to admit something that an old-school EPCOT fanatic never should: World of Motion wasn't perfect. Sure, with a cast of 188 Audio-Animatronics it was quite a technical achievement. And the song "It's Fun To Be Free", written by legendary Disney music men X Atencio and Buddy Baker, was one of those pleasantly catchy melodies that stayed stuck in your head long after the ride was over. The fact of GM's sponsorship, however, doomed the ride to irrelevance.

Consider an example: for the majority of its existence, Spaceship Earth was sponsored by a telephone company. What if its sponsor had insisted that the wired telephone be presented as the absolute pinnacle of communications technology? The 1994 rehab never would have happened, and the pavilion would have lapsed into irrelevancy. Why? Mostly because the Internet and mobile phone technology transformed the way we communicate. Of course, since Spaceship Earth's sponsor in the 1990s, AT&T, was also a purveyor of those technologies, it had a business interest in seeing them spotlighted within Spaceship Earth and so all was well.

Regarding World of Motion, the same cannot be said. Transportation dinosaur GM makes automobiles with internal combustion engines, and that's it. Sure, they made an early foray into the electric car market with the EV-1, but I challenge you to name one other automotive innovation by GM in the last twenty years. The truth is, Japanese manufacturers Toyota and Honda are at the forefront of innovation these days, while GM and the other American auto makers are flirting with bankruptcy. And of course, the most forward-looking futuristic transportation concepts don't include cars at all, which is why World of Motion ignored them. In order to please its sponsor, World of Motion had to present automobiles as the be-all, end-all of transportation. As pleasantly nostalgic a ride as it was, imagine the cynicism World of Motion would engender were it still in operation when gas costs $4 a gallon. After all, how "free" are we when it costs an arm and a leg to fill your gas tank?

Of course, World of Motion was replaced by a firmly automobile-centric attraction that reflects the shift in guests' tastes from Audio-Animatronic dark rides to thrill rides. Judging from the FastPass wait times, Test Track seems to be more popular than its predecessor ever was. I can't really make a thoughtful comparison between World of Motion and Test Track, however, because the fact that I'm a huge wimp where thrill rides are concerned has prevented me from experiencing Test Track thus far. When I visit EPCOT again next year, I plan on overcoming this silly phobia so I can write an informed review of Test Track. I'll let you know how it goes.

Given GM's worsening financial problems, however, I wonder if they'll discontinue their Test Track sponsorship. If that happens, what would the future hold for one of EPCOT's most popular attractions? Whatever happens, I hope that it won't suffer the fate of the Wonders of Life pavilion. It would be a shame to see Future World East turned into the Graveyard of Extinct Attractions.