Feasible EPCOT Improvement #1

Rehab the Imagination Pavilion, and Do It RIGHT This Time

You were expecting Horizons, weren't you? As much as I loved Horizons, the construction of a new 5-story pavilion in Future World is not within the realm of possibility unless a new corporate sponsor sweeps in and absolutely insists on dropping hundreds of millions of dollars on the project. The Imagination pavilion, though, is still intact. But why make an Imagination rehab the most-needed improvement to EPCOT? Because I believe Future World could not exist without it. While the rest of Future World (most of it, anyway) toots humanity's horn for all the cool stuff we've been able to do, the Imagination pavilion reminds us that it would all be impossible without something we didn't invent: our capacity for imagination.

Once upon a time, the Imagination pavilion was a prime Future World destination. A whimsical, expansive ride took up the ground floor of the pavilion, and afterward visitors could go up to the second floor to play in the ImageWorks, which boasted cutting-edge technology for the time. In the Magic Eye theater, there were 3D films like Magic Journeys and Captain EO (which seems ridiculous now, but was a pretty big deal in the '80s). Honey, I Shrunk The Audience debuted there in 1994, and by mid-90s standards it was pretty impressive.

Unfortunately, the last decade has not been kind to the Imagination pavilion. I've written about the whole sad story before, and this Wikipedia article provides a good overview, as well. So, how to fix it? Well, according to this thread in the WDWMagic forums, there are plans for a fourth refurbishment that would reunite Dreamfinder and Figment. The ride-through attraction would allegedly be extended into the space now occupied by the Magic Eye theater, thus lengthening the ride into something closer to its original 11-minute run time. Unfortunately, plans for this much needed rehab of the Imagination pavilion seem to have been put on hold so the money can be put toward the rumored massive Fantasyland refresh at the Magic Kingdom.

I know money is tight these days, but now would be an excellent time for the Imagination pavilion's corporate sponsor to come to the rescue. Yes, I'm talking about Kodak. They're still around, you know! As much I've complained about companies like Exxon and GM corrupting the message of the attractions they've sponsored, there is a positive side to the whole deal: the sponsor provides money for improvements to the pavilion that might not otherwise be made. Look at what Siemens has done for Spaceship Earth: sure, the descent still needs some work, but thanks to Siemens the post-show area is the best it's been since the Earth Station days. The money for the refurb didn't come from Disney, it came from the corporate sponsor. Word is that Siemens is even responsible for getting that horrible wand taken down. (Man, I hated that thing. It looked like a cartoon had vomited all over one of the greatest architectural wonders of the world) I'm not sure how healthy Kodak's finances are, though. After all, their primary product is camera film, which has mostly gone the way of the videotape and the floppy disk. According to their Wikipedia page, Kodak is in the midst of "refocusing" on digital photography products. Sounds to me like corporate doublespeak for "desperately trying to stave off obsolescence".

What I'm saying is that the Imagination pavilion looks so dreary and neglected that one could be forgiven for believing that it has no sponsor, and if Kodak can't step up and supply the needed capital to breathe some life back into the place, then maybe a new sponsor could. Someone like Apple, perhaps. Steve Jobs is on Disney's board, after all. And Apple has always marketed their products as tools that allow people to express their creativity. Can you imagine an ImageWorks full of Apple technology? Of course, that's probably a pipe dream. I really can't imagine Steve Jobs investing in something like that, and I can't imagine what benefit Apple would see from it.

Setting the sponsorship issue to one side, though, what might a refurbished Imagination pavilion look like? Well, if the plans already drawn up by the Imagineers are eventually implemented, it'll mean the end of the Magic Eye theater. But if it means the return of Dreamfinder in a ride that's closer to the spirit of the original, then I'm all for it. Hopefully, the queue area would be redone to dispense with the stodgy, unimaginative Imagination Institute theme. What would take its place? How about a queue area inspired by the whimsical murals that used to adorn the walls of the original queue area? Instead of a simple painting, though, perhaps it could give you the feeling of actually being inside the mural, the way that the Seas new queue area gives visitors the sense of being shrunk down to the size of a clownfish and entering Nemo's underwater world. As far as the ride itself, I know the Imagineers already have concepts prepared; I'm just hoping they actually see the light of day. The real tragedy of all this is that the original ride never needed to fundamentally change. It was a timeless Disney classic, like Peter Pan's Flight or Pirates of the Caribbean. If Disney had simply left it alone except for necessary maintenance and periodic cosmetic upgrades, the ride would be more popular and they wouldn't have wasted all that money on unsuccessful rehabs. No doubt the ideas the Imagineers have will, if they are ever implemented, return the ride to its status as a classic and allow Disney to leave it alone for a while.

That just leaves the ImageWorks. In the old days, the ImageWorks boasted the best technology the early 1980s had to offer. Subsequent rehabs brought it into the 1990s, and that's where it's been ever since. Two things need to happen here. First of all, the ImageWorks needs to be moved back upstairs where it belongs. Second, it needs to move into the 21st century. It needs to be a place where visitors play with creative tools they don't have at home. What about large multitouch screens that allow you to manipulate and distort images using only your hands? Okay, that's my only idea, other than the return of the neon rainbow tunnel that made you feel like you were inside a giant multicolored Slinky. But I think it's clear that with a little TLC the ImageWorks could be the best post-show area in Disney World again.

I fervently hope that the next time I visit EPCOT, the Imagination pavilion will be closed for refurbishment. In the meantime, I think I'll head over to Zazzle and pick up this T-shirt. Or maybe this one. Just to let folks know where I stand.

I hope you enjoyed my Feasible EPCOT Improvements series. Thank you very much for reading. There are still more interesting things to come: I'm working on a post about a revolutionary vehicle that only visitors to World of Motion ever saw, and best of all, I recently acquired a mint-condition copy of the definitive EPCOT text Walt Disney's EPCOT Center: Creating The New World of Tomorrow for just 13 bucks on eBay! My grandfather originally bought the book for me in 1984, but one move and many years later it ended up in my parents garage with some pretty bad water damage. Interestingly, the copy I have now is actually an earlier printing than my first one, so it has more early concept art in it, rather than photographs of completed attractions. Just thumbing through it, it appears to have all kinds of tidbits about things that were planned for EPCOT but never realized, and as I come across those things I'll try to share them here.

Thanks for reading!

Feasible EPCOT Improvement #2

Finish World Showcase

Since nothing has been added to the World Showcase since 1988, one might be forgiven for thinking that it is finished, that everything planned for that area of the park was realized in some fashion. If that's what you think, click here. And here. As you can see, there were a whole boatload of World Showcase attractions that never saw the light of day. Now, I know that we'll never see a Venezuela pavilion with its aerial tram ride through the Amazon rainforest (although that would be a nice addition to Animal Kingdom, perhaps as part of an South American Rainforest-themed area that could replace Camp Minnie-Mickey), an Israel pavilion would be a huge security risk, and a lot of the stuff planned for Africa was incorporated into Animal Kingdom in some way, shape, or form. However, it would be nice if the attractions originally planned for the countries that already there were actually built.

Now, you're probably thinking that the addition of several E-ticket attractions at once is not a feasible improvement. Maybe you're right, but consider this: in the years since Michael Eisner scrapped most of EPCOT's Phase 2 projects in 1984, Disney has opened two new parks in on the Florida property, and built scores of new resorts there, too. Did they really lack the money to give Japan its bullet train, Germany its Rhine River cruise, and Italy its gondola ride/Roman ruin walk-thru? Is there any theme park anywhere, Disney or otherwise, with fewer attractions per acre than World Showcase? The Disney rumor mill is currently swirling with talk of a massive refresh of the Magic Kingdom's Fantasyland. To be sure, it's much-needed and long-overdue, but even though Florida's Fantasyland is small and anemic compared to its Anaheim counterpart, that small slice of the Magic Kingdom still has more attractions than the entire World Showcase!

Most adults don't seem to mind this very much, since the World Showcase provides dining (and drinking!) options that you just can't find in the other parks, but how do children, a key Disney demographic, fare there? Let's travel back to 1984 and see what kind of fun my sister and I had in Morocco:

There's NO place like World SHOW-case!

No wonder a whole generation of park visitors grew up believing EPCOT to be boring! I'm not suggesting that World Showcase be given the Licensed Disney Character treatment, but adding the rides that Germany, Japan, and Italy were always supposed to have would go a long way toward making the place more kid-friendly. After all, in a place like Florida where summer lasts half the year, it's important to have regularly-spaced opportunities to get off your feet and out of the heat, especially when there are kids in your party.

Sure, World Showcase has the best live entertainment of any Disney park, but it could use some rides, too. Lots of Disney fans want to see new countries added, but I'd settle for some good attractions for the countries that are already there. They were on the drawing board, once. Isn't it time they became reality?

Feasible EPCOT Improvement #3

Do SOMETHING With the Wonders of Life Pavilion

There was a time when attractions that management believed to be past their prime were simply rehabbed into something different. When MetLife pulled their sponsorship from Wonders of Life, though, Disney pioneered an exciting new concept called Closing The Pavilion And Hoping Everyone Just Forgets It Was Ever There, Despite The Fact That A Giant Yellow Dome Doesn't Exactly Blend Into The Scenery.

Okay, that's not entirely true. The pavilion does get used for the annual Food and Wine festival, but to anyone who remembers what used to be there it's a little depressing to see all the attractions inside closed off. A Life and Health pavilion was always part of the plan for Future World, and people are more concerned about this topic now than ever before. When Wonders of Life opened in 1988, I never thought I'd see the day when obesity would be considered an epidemic. Of course, there were some very legitimate problems with the pavilion, but it did host two classic attractions in Body Wars and Cranium Command. With a few updates to their live-action filmed segments, both could still be relevant and functioning today.

Of course, if no one could come up with any compelling ideas to reboot the Life and Health pavilion, then I know exactly what they could do with the building. I'll give you a hint:

And that's it for #3. Only two posts left, and you probably know exactly what they'll be. The only question is, which is #1 and which is #2?

Feasible EPCOT Improvement #4

Bring Universe of Energy into the 21st Century


Since it opened in 1982, Universe of Energy has assured us that our future energy needs would be met by a variety of sources, but mostly fossil fuels provided by the Exxon corporation. And yeah, fossil fuels were technically a nonrenewable resource, but we didn't need to worry about that because more deposits of them were constantly being discovered thanks to the selfless efforts of (you guessed it!) the Exxon corporation. Of course, people not in the employ of Big Oil were warning us all the time that fossil fuels were going to run out one of these days, and we had better start exploring other options, but we mostly ignored them. After all, there was always fuel at the gas station, and it cost less per gallon than renewable liquids such as milk or beer. And then gas hit $4 a gallon in the summer of 2008, and we soiled our collective underpants as we realized that the transition away from fossil fuels was not likely to be a smooth and affordable one.

Before then, the show playing inside the Universe of Energy pavilion was decried by EPCOT purists for its dated 1990s pop culture and its attempts at hip, ironic humor. After gas spiked at over $4 a gallon, though, we realized that Bill Nye and Alex Trebek's mustache were the least of the Energy pavilion's problems. The show was hopelessly outdated because it only paid lip service to the fact that the oil would run out one day, and we were in big trouble if we didn't start changing our habits and looking for new energy sources. Then, in late 2008, Disney responded. They took bold action! They closed Universe of Energy! They gave it a new . . . paint job? To be fair, the return to the original exterior color scheme really looks good. And the minor rehab was probably scheduled well before the spike in oil prices. Still, the Energy pavilion is badly in need of a relevance infusion, and here's how they can do it while keeping costs at a minimum:

First, try to avoid a redo of the dinosaur diorama by keeping Ellen. She's personable and funny, and unlike Bill Nye modern audiences still know who she is. Of course, since her show is carried by NBC, not the Disney-owned ABC, it's possible that bringing her back to shoot new scenes for the filmed portion of the ride would cost more than just removing the Ellen animatronic. But if bringing Ellen back isn't too expensive, then they can produce a new film that generally follows the lines of the current one, but talks more realistically about our energy problems. Making movies isn't cheap, sure, but a thirty-minute film about energy has got to be a lot less expensive to film than a two-hour movie about secret-agent gerbils, you know? Best of all, since Exxon no longer sponsors the Energy pavilion, Disney won't be obligated to tailor the show to their interests.

So come on, Disney. Give us a new film at the Universe of Energy. Because the old one's not just out of date, it's getting moldy and starting to smell.

And that's #4. Only three posts left in this series, and you can probably guess what they are. Thanks for reading!

Feasible EPCOT Improvement #5

Put Something In The Seas Pavilion About How Human Behavior Threatens The Oceans



Before the Seas got its big Nemo makeover, more than one classic Future World attraction had been torn down or ripped out in favor of a less-imaginative, dumbed-down replacement. So when the pavilion reopened in 2007 as The Seas With Nemo and Friends, those of us who miss Horizons and Journey Into Imagination were quick to jump on the anti-Nemo bandwagon. Most of the criticism that's been leveled at the new attraction is probably deserved, but you have to admit that the present incarnation of the place is more appealing to children than the previous one. This gives Disney a great opportunity to let kids know, via a popular animated character, about the damage that human behavior is doing to the oceans.

I'm not saying they should dramatically re-theme the place, or even alter the ride-thru portion. It would be nice, however, to have some exhibits in the seabase about what global warming, overfishing, and poor garbage-disposal habits are doing to the oceans. Kids need to know that Nemo's coral reef habitat will cease to exist if the human race continues its current pattern of behavior. Other exhibits could touch upon the Pacific Garbage Patch, and current efforts to clean it up. Practical ways that individuals and families can change their behavior to be more friendly to the oceans could also be highlighted.

I've only been to the Nemo-ized Seas once, and unfortunately I didn't get a chance for a detailed exploration of the seabase area. Maybe some of this stuff is already there. If it isn't, though, Disney is missing a golden opportunity to educate America's youngest consumers on the impact their actions have on Nemo's "big blue world".

That's all for today. Next, I'll discuss how Bill Nye the Science Guy is doing nothing to help with our energy problems.

Feasible EPCOT Improvements- #6

Do Something to Make Test Track Relevant


Last I heard, Test Track was still a fairly popular ride. I don't have any data to back this up, but judging by the wait times when I was in EPCOT last, I'll bet it's the second most popular attraction in Future World behind Soarin'. This is unfortunate, because Disney will usually rehab an EPCOT pavilion only after several years of sustained unpopularity, and sometimes not even then. And boy, does Test Track need a rehab. Truth be told, the Transportation pavilion has needed a rethink since the day it opened, we just needed a couple decades to figure it out.

I've written before about why it was a bad idea for EPCOT's transportation pavilion to be sponsored by an automobile company, especially one as clueless and out-of-it as GM. And I've speculated on what the future might hold for the pavilion once Test Track lapses into unpopularity (or Disney decides that it costs too much to maintain). For now, however, Test Track is a popular ride that's not going anywhere. If GM ends their almost thirty-year sponsorship of the pavilion, though, it'll need a new post-show. And that would be an excellent place to plug the future of transportation beyond automobiles. What about a row of simple simulators that allow visitors to experience future modes of transportation: take a ride on a pod car network in a big city, a mag-lev bullet train across the countryside, maybe even a space elevator? A future where everyone drives automobiles to get everywhere is neither practical nor desirable, and this would be a good way to educate people on some of the alternatives.

Of course, Test Track isn't the only attraction in Future World that's missing its chance at relevance. Next I'll talk a little about one of EPCOT's more recent additions.

Feasible EPCOT Improvement #7

Give Mission:Space a Rehab

When EPCOT Center opened in 1982, the park was not finished; the things that were completed in time for opening day were only "Phase I". A whole range of new Future World pavilions and World Showcase countries were supposed to be added over the next several years as part of "Phase II", but as many Disney aficionados are aware, not many of those projects ever saw the light of day, since the company went through a major regime change in 1984. To put it diplomatically, the new bosses didn't like what they didn't understand-in fact, it scared them-and EPCOT Center was mysterious, at least. World Showcase suffered the worst from this, but fortunately most of what what was promised for Future World's Phase II actually got built. Horizons was completed in 1983, the Seas pavilion opened in 1986, and in 1989 the opening of Wonders of Life gave us the promised Life and Health pavilion (don't worry, I've got much more to say about Wonders of Life.) Only one pavilion was never realized: Space.

The book Walt Disney's EPCOT Center: Creating The New World of Tomorrow mentioned plans for a Space pavilion developed in association with NASA that would take visitors on a trip to a simulated space station of the near future. According to Jim Hill Media, a thumbnail description of that early concept went something like this:

A huge, interstellar "Space Vehicle" will transport passengers to the outer frontiers of the universe, highlighting man's efforts to reach out to the stars around him ... from the early pioneers who looked and wondered ... to modern-day space travelers and their triumphs ... to the challenges and possibilities of future space technology and exploration.

Sounds exciting, doesn't it? Sure, with the technology available in the early '80s, the "huge, interstellar Space Vehicle" might have ended up looking a lot like Universe of Energy's moving theater, but it's obvious that the Space pavilion was supposed to impart a positive message about the risks and rewards of continued human space exploration. So, when we finally got a Space pavilion in 2003, the marriage of forward-thinking idealism with 21st century technology must have resulted in a tour de force that really got people excited about space exploration again, right? If you've ever been on Mission:Space you're shaking you head right now. To be sure, it offers the most realistic rocket-launch simulation that you and I are likely to experience in our lifetimes, but whereas the previous occupant of that piece of real estate told us that "if we can dream it, then we can do it", Mission:Space's central message, if it has one, is "a trip to Mars would be cool".

Now, if you're wondering what I would do to Mission:Space if I were appointed Grand Poobah of the Walt Disney Company, here's a hint:

Unfortunately, I am not the Grand Poobah of anything, except for the various Transformers and Star Wars action figures that decorate my cubicle. And since Mission:Space cost Disney zillions of dollars to build, it's unlikely to go anywhere unless another sinkhole opens up. Anyway, it's entirely possible to salvage Mission:Space to be something of the original Space pavilion that Disney was developing back in the late '70s. Here's how:

First, give it a message. This is the easiest part, since it already has one, kind of. Check out the attraction's official logo and see if you can spot it:

Yes, it's right there in the upper-left quadrant, taken from JFK's famous speech at Rice University in September 1962.

I know that the sole purpose of the lunar program was to beat the USSR, and I've read that Kennedy privately complained about its huge drain on the national budget, but that doesn't change the fact that the speech contains some of the most inspirational words ever uttered about space exploration. They're the key to turning Mission:Space into an experience that truly inspires people and gives them something to think about. There are a number of places where the message could be placed.

Let's start with the preshow. Tomorrowland's old "Mission to Mars" attraction was billed as a "real" trip to Mars, even though all you did was sit in a vibrating chair and watch a round screen on the floor. Why not alter the story of Mission:SPACE so that visitors are astronauts who board a spaceship instead of just a simulator? Use the pre-show to review the history of manned spaceflight and emphasize what a huge undertaking a flight to Mars would be; emphasizing that, despite the challenges and the hardship, we can make it to Mars if "we choose to go".

Secondly, make this the first-ever Mars mission. If riders are "really" going to the Red Planet, why not make them the first people to do so? It makes the ride more exciting, and gives you another opportunity to inject the "we choose to go" message.

Finally, the post-show area needs some serious help. Part of the ride's story could be that an unmanned ship landed earlier with a prefab habitat for the astronauts to live in. At the conclusion of the simulator ride, your ship could "dock" with the habitat, and the post-show area could be remodeled slightly to reflect this. Inside the post-show "Marsbase" you could have a couple educational exhibits about what Mars is really like, including, perhaps, a virtual-reality experience that allows you to play the part of an astronaut walking around on the Martian surface. Yes, I know there's a video game there now that does that, but I'm talking about actual virtual reality, with the helmet and everything. Perhaps there could also be a console where visitors could take turns operating the Mars Rover by remote control. Of course, this approach presents a story problem: if post-show area is also for people who are unable or unwilling to experience the ride, how do they "get to Mars"? I really don't know, but I'm sure the Imagineers could figure something out.

Not only would these changes make Mission:Space more interesting, they would also make it worth visiting more than once. No, it wouldn't quite turn the place into a worthy replacement for Horizons, or give us the original Space pavilion concept developed in association with NASA and Ray Bradbury, but it's a feasible improvement. And with any real-life mission to Mars still many years away, the ride's basic concept is not one that's going to become outdated any time soon.

Other pavilions at EPCOT, though, were designed to tackle issues a little closer to home. Next post, I'll discuss one of them.

Feasible EPCOT Improvement #8

Return Future World Attractions to A Unified Logo/Font Scheme

Until the mid-1990s, the signs outside each Future World pavilion were rendered in a single font (available commercially as World Bold and in a freeware version called Prototype) and each pavilion had its own unique circular logo, which imbued the park with a sense of visual unity.

Although many of the informational signs in Future World still use the classic font, each attraction now has its own distinctive signage:

Although the distinctive signage for each pavilion does make EPCOT more like the rest of Disney World, it represents one more way that EPCOT has been robbed of its uniqueness over the years. However, I'm not advocating a total return to the font/logo scheme that existed in the 1980s, merely an updated version of it. The recently-rehabbed Spaceship Earth provides a good example of what I'm talking about:

Why not redo all Future World pavilion signage in Spaceship Earth's new font and give each attraction a logo that conforms to the parameters of the one seen at the top of the sign in the above photo? Informational signage could still be rendered in the classic font, which would prevent the expense of replacing every sign in Future World while retaining one of the very small number of things that haven't changed since 1982.

Now, if your first response upon reading the preceding paragraph is to worry that people will be confused if the sign for "The Seas With Nemo and Friends" doesn't look like the logo for the movie "Finding Nemo", then congratulations, you could be the next Michael Eisner! If you can't convince anyone to let you run their entertainment franchise into the ground, maybe you could make a movie about gum wrappers.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for the comments! In future installments, I'll tackle some attractions in dire need of a relevance infusion.

Feasible EPCOT Improvement #9

Make Innoventions/CommuniCore More Interesting




I have a pretty good memory, especially where Disney World is concerned. I have vivid memories of extinct attractions like Horizons, World of Motion, and Mission to Mars, but when I sat down to write this, I realized that I can't remember much about what Innoventions contains. The only thing I know for sure is that the south side of Innoventions West completely empty except for a character greeting area and some bathrooms. So, I did some online research and found this page detailing the twin pavilions' current offerings, and I didn't see one thing that made me think "Wow, I can't wait to see and/or do that!" Well, except for the "Test Drive a Segway" thing, maybe. But if the line is too long, I could skip it without feeling too bad. In fact, that's the problem with Innoventions. You can completely skip it without feeling like you missed anything. Judging by how un-crowded the place usually is, most EPCOT visitors agree with me.

How might Disney turn things around? I really don't know. Before Innoventions, CommuniCore had the same problems. To its credit, Innoventions tries really hard to be educational. There are all kind of neat little activities that kids should enjoy, but they're the kinds of things you see at any childrens' museum. There's simply no attraction or experience there that only Disney could have pulled off.

While I'm talking about the Innoventions pavilions, I've got to take a paragraph and talk about Mouse Gear, the large gift shop that takes up a substantial chunk of the eastern building. The previous occupant of that space was a neat two-level store called Centorium. Centorium carried a selection of general Disney merchandise, of course, but it also had lots of interesting things that could only be found in Future World. Mouse Gear, on the other hand, is a thoroughly generic store that sells the same stuff you can get at any gift shop in Disney World. It carries only the tiniest selection of EPCOT-themed merchandise, and most of that is T-shirts. There is nothing unique about the store AT ALL, and because of that it really sticks out like a sore thumb in EPCOT. After all, the stores in the World Showcase are full of unique and authentic merchandise from the various countries. Check out the large store in Japan; you'll think you've actually crossed the Pacific. It would be nice if Mouse Gear became Centorium again and regained some of that uniqueness.

That's all for this week. Next up: logos and fonts.

Feasible EPCOT Improvement #10

Turn the Coral Reef Into a Good Seafood Restaurant

Imagine this: a seafood restaurant in Disney World with huge floor-to-ceiling windows that look into the second-largest man-made underwater environment in the world. Sounds like a great place to eat, right? I mean, all they have to do is serve Red Lobster-quality food with some of that trademarked friendly Disney service and most people will think it's one of the best meals they've ever had.


So what's it like to eat at the Coral Reef? Here's what some commenters at Dis Unplugged and WDWInfo.com had to say:

"The food here is very average and nothing is noteworthy except for the chocolate wave dessert which is fantastic. Service is nothing spectacular either."

"I was not at all impressed with this restaurant. It has tons of potential, but the service was atrocious and the food was truck stop quality."

"I really wanted to love this restaurant, but its just okay. The aquarium is gorgeous and a real draw for me, but the food is just okay."

"The service was fantastic as was the view of the tanks. It is a very relaxing place to go and have a nice meal. The food wasn't the best in the world, but we enjoyed everything we ordered."

"Once again, Disney thinks serving food is a bonus...hey, how about good food?"

"The wait staff were very nice, but the food was terrible . . . this restaurant should be a destination, but instead is a complete ripoff."

Dis Unplugged writer Kevin Klose has reviewed the Coral Reef twice. His first visit, in August 2006, resulted in a resoundingly negative review that's still semi-famous amongst a small gaggle of Disney geeks like myself who write blogs like this. He went back in April 2009, hoping that his first visit had simply been an aberration. His conclusion? That the Coral Reef "remains a mediocre, over-priced Disney disappointment."

More than any other park, EPCOT is known for its restaurants. Le Cellier, Biergarten, and Chefs de France are almost universally loved. I've always enjoyed the meals I've had in the Garden Grill (I could do without Chip and Dale coming around and acting whimsical while I'm eating, but kids love them). Disney is clearly not incapable of running a good restaurant, but judging by the experiences of folks that have eaten at the Coral Reef and the Mexico pavilion's San Angel, food quality becomes in afterthought in places with great atmosphere.

Fixing the Coral Reef isn't impossible. It isn't even hard. Just serve better food. Transplant the menu and kitchen from a Red Lobster if you have to, but serve better food.

That's all for today's rant. Next up: Innoventions.

Feasible EPCOT Improvements: A Wish List

As my wife and I were doing some planning for our January 2010 trip to Walt Disney World, my thoughts turned to EPCOT, and how it could feasibly be improved. Obviously, I'd like nothing better than to walk into the park in six months to find Mission: Space gone without a trace, with Horizons sitting in its place like it never left. Unfortunately, that will never happen. Instead, I've come up with a list of twelve improvements that Disney management could make to EPCOT if they really wanted to. (Whether or not they're inclined to do so, and what it says about the competence of Disney management and the health of the company as a whole is a different topic altogether). Let's get started:


#12: Get rid of the graveyard at the entrance to Future World
In saner times, the space between the entrance turnstiles and Spaceship Earth was a wide open area that contained only a few planters of flowers and a fountain. Now we have this:

Is it a graveyard, or perhaps a war memorial? No, it's just a transparent attempt to get you to pull out your wallet just minutes after you put it back into your pocket after paying for your tickets. At least it was. From 1999 until 2007, guests could shell out $35-$38 for the dubious privilege of having their picture etched onto a tiny steel plate that was then affixed to the surface of one of the gray stone monoliths that litter EPCOT's entrance plaza. Now that the Leave A Legacy program has been discontinued, I really wish they'd just remove the monoliths altogether.


#11: Clean up Innoventions/CommuniCore Plaza
In the late 1990s, EPCOT was obviously invaded by a pointy-haired boss type who had a phobia of open spaces. It's the only way to explain what happened to the area around the CommuniCore buildings. What used to be a clean, open area with clear sight lines to the pavilions that ring the periphery of Future World was defaced into this:

Image borrowed from EPCOT Central 

 

It might've looked cool in the '90s, now it's just loud, and unnecessarily busy. I might be able to forgive it if those triangular tarp things served a useful function like providing shade against the Florida sun (which can be unbearable in the summer months) but they don't. If the clean, open lines of CommuniCore plaza seemed dated by the mid-90s, they're suddenly in vogue again. Look at Apple's industrial design: the cleaner and simpler their design aesthetic, the more units they sell. It's time to remove the tacky, useless tarps and the pointless whirlygigs that litter the area.

Check back later this week for Number Ten on the list. Thanks for reading!